CHOOSING THE RIGHT PARTNER.

The importance of choosing the right partner during courtship can never be over-emphasized.

Courtship should be entered into only by prepared and mature minded singles.

It is not a game of “win or lose”, courtship is a serious business.

Courtship is a step of faith, which precedes the journey  of faith into marriage”(as marriage is a journey of faith). If the courtship days are embarked upon in the fresh, you will need the flesh to sustain you, and anything done in the flesh  does not last, but when you embark upon it walking in the spirit, you won’t  be confused or misled. Why choose “endurance” when you have the option of enjoyment.

  

Fulfillment in courtship leading into marriage comes only when you are surrendered to the Holy spirit, “No longer I but Christ in me”.

There are definitely price tags to this commitment which may mean self – denial, absolute obedience (even when it does not make sense), keeping your body under your control, loving even when it is difficult to, never giving up too easily, not roller coastering in and out of relationships, accepting the person regardless of past or family background.

It sure takes a spiritually matured mind to do all these and more.

The number one test of a genuine relationship is the peace you have in your heart about the person after praying on the matter. Don’t go seeing for people’s approval or disapproval over the person you are about courting or already courting, you may receive false confirmation.

Rather pray about the person, be patient, not hasty, if the person is meant for you another person won’t take him/or, then he/she was not meant for you, you do not have to fight over the matter or be threatened over the matter, let go is he/she is not meant for you.

Remove everything that may want to becloud your mind and cause you to be love-blind”, e.g. beauty, physical  appearance, finances, profession, educational background, family background, eloquence in speech etc.

These things on their own may not be bad at all, but can turn out to be bad if they are the driving force or focus of attraction towards the person.

You really cannot get to know all about a person during courtship, no matter how long  your courtship may last, another truth is you really can’t know all about  yourself too, just within the period of courtship, however, as much as this period is important and we begin to get to  know our likes or dislikes, differences and similarities, we should be realistic and never assuming, misplacing true love for infatuation or feelings. You must thus take time to stay and build your relationship on a love that outlasts feelings, or else what seems to be the major reason of attraction, may turn out to be the major source of pain.

What is the acid test of true love without strings attached?

ASK YOURSELF THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS:

1.      What happens if the facial appearance is not like I met you?

2.      What happen if you change profession in future?

3.      What happens if the money is no longer there?

4.      What happens if the physical changes?

5.      What happens if there is delay in child birth?

6.      What happens if she can’t cook as good as you expect?

7.      What happens when the family you looked for support is not there?

8.      What happens if either family is against the relationship? (e.g. he or she is from a rich family).

9.      What happens if further education is not attained?

10. What happens if he or she already has a child outside wedlock?

If you are able to sincerely and truthfully answer these questions and many others as it may apply to you, then you can judge for yourself the stand or basis of your love.

“Love in courtship /marriage is not meant to be feelings which is subject to change, but an act (for love is always in action) that is continuous  and lingers on forever”.

TEN YEARS OF PASSIONATE LOVE

James and Chinwe were both in the same university and attended the same campus fellowship; it was not really love at first sight, because each had other people interested in having a relationship with them. So they related to one another just as friends for a period of three years. After three years of friendship  they discovered they loved each other, with prayers and counsel from trusted couples they embarked on taking a step of faith into courtship, both following the peace in their heart concerning their relationship. Their courtship lasted for five years and they promised the Lord and themselves they would  never defile the bed  before marriage, they kept to their promise and the Lord saw them through. They confessed they were both tempted sexually many times, but their burning love for God kept them from doing evil, they also placed some precautionary measures and boundaries for themselves, which help them all through their courting days.

Many times they had to go back to their closet, to seek the face of God, asking for grace and strength to hold on emotionally, and God didn’t deny them of it, as he saw the sincerity of their asking for backup for their fleshy weakness. They made it through to marriage and they are happily married. Chinwe, attended a job interview after six years of marriage and blessed with two children, surprisingly to her, three of the major men on the interview panel threw a question at her to describe her husband in a nutshell, by the time she as through, the men have never seen a woman descried her husband so passionately, sincerely and truthful like you, they all said they were willing and eager to meet with this wonderful husband of  this young lady. It is obvious to everyone around them how they are still like two love birds even after ten years in marriage. They are seen everywhere together, James is till “head over heels in love with Chinwe and it is certainly not hidden at all.

They have had and still having their fair share of challenges marriages go through but their  togetherness and oneness standing on Christ their solid rock and firm foundation, has not allowed the storms of life to sweep them away. Chinwe has doubled her initial weight –before they married- and her belly fat has made her almost lost her trimmed figure, which she had before marriage, but James tells her how beautiful she still looks to him.

JAMES also has added so much weight and muscles with a rounded pot belly, and Chinwe is still contented  with him that way, especially with the muscles on his arms now, which she had always wanted him to have. They both made a deliberate choice of enjoying and not enduring their marriage, with constant prayers, sacrifices and hard work on their marriage; they are  obviously getting what they bargained for i.e. a peaceful and enjoyable home.

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Best wishes!!!