Every couple, when entering into an intimate, committed
relationship and hopefully before marriage, should have the infidelity
conversation. The understanding of infidelity is quite blurred as some may not
consider emotional infidelity as a breach of trust but it actually is. Both physical
and emotional intimacy with somebody other than your spouse is infidelity. Physical
infidelity or sexual relations outside an intimate relationship is distrust and
betrayal, while emotional intimacy can be
emotional dependence where quality time, attention and romantic love is
spent with a person other than the one you are in a relationship with. In both
cases, the other person in the relationship is cheated and betrayed accounting to infidelity.
Most people in relationship would agree that commitment means
never going astray on sex, and at times
even being emotionally intimate to someone else. In a recent survey, it was
found that many people admit to being unfaithful at some point in their life. It
is bemusing that the married lot cheated more than the single.
The reasons for this vary from person to person, but the
single factor that is relevant to both genders is the aversion to commitment. With the romance coming to an end after marriage,
many people cannot reconcile themselves to the mundane life. They want the same
attraction back which is not possible in the partner with whom they have spent
their last year together.
A nagging wife or over passionate husband can make the
spouses look for another person to get sanity back into their life. That is one
of the prime reasons why men and women fall into the arm of a person other than
their partner.
In case of some persons. It is peer group tendency that drives
them to commit adultery. In case a buddy does it and shows if off as something fun, there are many men who cannot
resist it. The same goes for women as some friends make their make cheat just for kicks.
In case of men, it is the starvation of sex that leads them
to have it outside of wedlock. If the
woman is not willing to have sex as much
as the man demands, he is going to look
for someone who can satisfy him and vice versa.
The craving for new
thrill is one of the most important reasons behind cheating. A man has gratified himself with you, and is
not likely to feel the same again. That brings out the urge to experiment, in
other words, flirting with other women. If a person is in a state of despair and under
great stress, having an affair can fix many
problems. It can not only give release from tension but also work to boost the ego of a person as he or she now
feels more desirable. This is usually due
to lack of spark or mutual appreciation in a relationship.
HOW TO DEAL WITH
THOUGHTS OF INFIDELITY
Before you decide to cheat on your partner, learn to deal
with the thoughts of infidelity by figuring out what is lacking in your relationship and
bringing thoughts that could cost you love of your current partner and family.
·
The
foremost step to deal with thoughts of
infidelity is to figure out the incidences of such thoughts. Day dreaming about
your favorite movie star/s or getting
attracted to someone on the street is perfectly normal, but getting intimate
with another person is an indication
that your current relationship is lacking something essential. Instead of
focusing your attention on the one whom you admire, reevaluate your relationship
with your partner to know the differences.
·
While
having thoughts of cheating on your
partner, just give a thought to its dire
consequences. Think how it will hurt your partner and everybody else around
you. If children are involve, think how it is going to influence their life and
their mental development. Infidelity does
not involve you and your partner, it impinges
on your family’s mentality and
tears them apart. The best solution is to locate the problems in your
relationship that brought you to think of cheating with your partner. Such thoughts can be forced by innumerable reasons such as
staying away for too long or giving a
lot of importance to the person you are attracted to.
·
To
deal with the issue of infidelity, the best option is to communicate your
feeling to your partner. Do not state to him or her that you are having
thoughts of infidelity, but explain
that you are finding some difficulties
in your relationship. Tell him or her what is missing in the relationship and
try to voice your present feelings. Do it in a way that it does not hurt your
partner’s emotions and try to clear your doubts as much as possible so that the two of you can decide
appropriate future actions i.e. whether to make things work or take individual
ways. Putting an end to relationship is
always better than being unfaithful and
disloyal.
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